i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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