Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
