Please, let me fuck your mom
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
