Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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