I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
