Ketchup is God's man juice
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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