That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
