ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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