Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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