it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just want nice things and good sex
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
