who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
