opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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