it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think my fart just growled at me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize