Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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