Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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