I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Randomize
