found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
