my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
