Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
