My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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