there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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