I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize