I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
