Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
