dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
