whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
