There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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