Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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