I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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