I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
