I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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