the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
