; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Fuck me I smell like cheese
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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