Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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