Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
