My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
