You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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