google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
