i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
