my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
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Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
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There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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