he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
