I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
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