trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
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theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
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Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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