Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
