So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
