saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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