This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize