the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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