There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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