So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
50% drunk capacity currently
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize