thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
