Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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