I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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