from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The adults are the big ones right?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
