Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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