I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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