Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize