Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
