hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We left the knife in your bed.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
