Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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