Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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