1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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